Years Later, My Partner Still Doesn’t Understand My Decision to Abort

Perhaps you decided to end a pregnancy a long time ago.  And although years have passed, and life has led you down a series of other paths, the abortion continues to be a minor (or major) point of contention in your relationship with your partner.  He may have been a part of your life when it happened.  Maybe not.  Perhaps you became pregnant by your current partner, or somebody else who’s no longer an important part of your life.  But the fact remains: your significant other still doesn’t comprehend your choice for abortion.  If the title of this blog resonates with you, chances are, you’re bothered by this lack of understanding.

Whether your partner was personally impacted by the abortion and is struggling to forgive, whether he disagrees with or judges your decision, whatever the situation may be… he just doesn’t get it.  Maybe your partner doesn’t fully understand the circumstances that led to your decision, the reasoning or emotions behind it, all the aspects of your past pregnancy experience that are difficult to put into words.  It’s possible that you’ve been trying to help him understand for all this time.  And by now, you’re completely exhausted.

The abortion was probably a meaningful experience in your life if any of this strikes a chord.  Your desire for your partner to understand something significant that you went through is completely natural.  We all want to feel seen and understood by the people we love, the people we’ve committed ourselves to.  You probably long for your partner to empathize with all the pieces of your life that matter.  His ability to understand your point of view is limited, even if he was around when the abortion took place.  But maybe your partner isn’t the person who most needs to process this part of the past.  Maybe you haven’t come to terms.

If you’re struggling to cope with a difficult abortion experience, know that it’s possible to discover purpose and beauty in your life again.  Many people who’ve ended a pregnancy years ago believe that this shouldn’t be so relative to their lives anymore.  They have a difficult time accepting that unresolved feelings from the abortion continue to have a foothold.  However, post-abortion stress often lingers as time moves on.  Restore After Abortion is here to help if you’re feeling “stuck” in this way.

Restore is a post-abortion recovery and support program based in Chicagoland, Illinois.  For over twenty years, we’ve been helping women and men heal emotionally from challenging abortion experiences.  And our services are provided at no cost!

Check out our “About” page and reach out to us today!  We offer opportunities to connect in a support group or one-on-one with a volunteer leader.