Talking About a Past Abortion with an Adult Child

Are you thinking about sharing the story of a past abortion with your adult child, or are you already in the process of having an ongoing conversation?  This is likely to be a challenging dialogue.  It makes sense that it would be.  All unexpected pregnancy decisions (for abortion, adoption, and parenting) are significant, and tend to be emotionally weighty experiences.  Chances are, you have some complex feelings about the abortion in your past.  Your adult child may have complex feelings of their own.

There’s no “one right way” to have a conversation with an adult child about your past decision (or your partner’s past decision) to end a pregnancy.  This dialogue may look different depending on various factors, like when the abortion took place, whether or not your child already knows about it, and what season of life you and your daughter or son are currently in.  No matter what, it’s important to find balance between speaking and listening, between transparency and discretion.  Give your child time and space to process what you have to say.  Validate their feelings, even if those feelings are hard for you to hear.

Before you talk with your adult child, consider confiding in someone who knows about the abortion and has responded with empathy.  This can be anyone you trust- a close friend or family member, a professional counselor, or a mentor.  You will likely need their support as you prepare for this conversation with your child, just as your child will probably need emotional support while reflecting on what you’ve shared.  If you’re wrestling with complicated emotions surrounding your past abortion, and you’re not sure how to approach this with family, reach out to Restore! Our program is designed to help people who’ve been negatively impacted by an abortion come to terms and find healing.  We’d love to partner with you on this journey, and help you navigate conversations with your loved ones along the way.

Contact us to learn more and schedule a consultation!