Learning About a Mother’s past Abortion

Geraldine sat down nervously next to her daughter, Rachel. Then, she told her,

“I need to tell you something that happened to me many years ago that I feel is important that you know about it. It was when I was much younger and I was in college. You see, I made a mistake by dating someone who really didn’t care about me and I found out I was pregnant. After I told him, he told me to ‘get it taken care of.’  I shouldn’t have listened to him and gotten an abortion. I have spent the rest of my life regretting that awful decision! I wanted to share this secret with you because I feel like you should know.”

After the initial shock of the news hit Rachel, she began to realize how much anguish this secret must have caused her mother and how courageous she was to share this private news with her.

Sharing the Secret

Some women prefer to keep their abortions secret, opting to remain silent due to possible feelings of grief or shame. While some women may be comfortable sharing their abortion story with other adults, some may hesitate when it comes to telling their children. A post-abortive woman may fear that if her children learn about her past abortion, they may not accept the news. As her child, try not to feel angry with her if your mother has kept her abortion secret from you all of this time. If your mother has decided to share her abortion story with you, it may mean she has taken steps towards healing, and she wants to include you in her path to recovery.

It’s normal to have complicated feelings towards this subject, as you may feel confused or unsure about what to think of your mother’s past abortion experience. Just like her, you may be grieving, and perhaps you need time to process the news. Your mother sharing this part of herself is a sign that she trusts you, and her reaching out to you is not only a helpful step towards healing for her, but for you as well.

Her sharing her abortion story with you has the potential to create a sense of openness between you two, and this can help you both to build one another up as you acknowledge each other’s sorrow. An abortion can create mournful feelings for some. Reconciling how the abortion may have affected you both can enable you and your mother to partner with each other on a path towards healing.

Reach Out Today

If you or someone you know is not coping well with feelings of grief after one or multiple abortions, please contact the Restore After Abortion program. We offer free, nonjudgmental, and compassionate post abortion care for teens and adults. Please call or text us at 630-599-0043 to begin your journey towards healing.