Feeling Resentful Toward Loved Ones Post-Abortion

Do you find yourself wrestling with lingering resentment toward loved ones after an emotionally painful abortion experience?  Ending a pregnancy can feel overwhelming and draining for many persons who choose this path (for many who choose adoption and parenting, too).  Chances are, the circumstances behind your abortion decision were complicated.  Feelings and opinions of key people in your life may have gotten tangled up in your outcome.  The influence of others can make abortion difficult to consider objectively on the front end of a pregnancy decision, and difficult to process afterwards.

What is the source of your bitterness?  Maybe a loved one pressured you into the abortion, or made your alternatives less attainable by threatening to withhold emotional or financial support.  Maybe your partner or family member didn’t respond to your pregnancy news the way you needed.  Perhaps you’re just really angry– and that anger seems to be tainting many relationships, many aspects of your life.

Harboring resentment toward loved ones won’t change the past.  It can impact your present and future if undealt with, very likely in a harmful way.  The problem is, bitterness rarely feels like a choice!  Your loved ones may have hurt you deeply- and that’s significant.  It’s okay if you’re still wrestling with your feelings and aren’t ready to forgive.  But it’s important to process what you’ve been through for the sake of your own mental and emotional health.  Consider taking practical steps toward healing by getting involved with a program like Restore After Abortion.  We provide no-cost support to women and men struggling to cope with a tough abortion experience for any reason.  Our dedicated Restore team provides opportunities to process your experiences and find hope in a support group or one-on-one setting.

Resenting someone is a choice- just a hard one to untangle.  But we’re here for you every step of the way.  If and when you feel ready, Restore can help you explore how to have an honest conversation about the abortion with the person(s) you’re resentful of.  Tuning into your feelings and accepting responsibility for the part you’ve played will probably come first.  Then, it may be time to initiate an assertive but respectful dialogue.

It isn’t easy to process uncomfortable emotions surrounding an abortion!  Neither is it easy to own your actions, talk about painful experiences, or seek reconciliation with someone who’s wounded you.  But holding onto bitterness can be just as exhausting (and much less helpful).  Discovering hope and healing, whatever that may look like for you, is always worth it!  Restore can help you begin that process today.

Contact us to learn more!