After Abortion: Getting Past the Numbness and Denial

after abortionA LIFE CHANGED

Chelsea’s phone rang and she picked it up. A familiar voice said, “Hey, Chelsea. It’s Katy. We’re going to a party tonight and want you to come with. It’s at 7 pm.”

Chelsea replied in a quiet voice, “No, not tonight. I’m not feeling well. Maybe next time” and hung up quickly. She sat there for a moment wondering why she didn’t feel like doing anything anymore.

Then, she thought about how her life had drastically changed in just one year during college about 6 years ago. At the time she entered college, she was so hopeful and happy. She was excited about the college experience and all the new friends she was making. But, within that first year, her life gradually started to change for the worse.  It had started when she frequently dated a variety of college boys and then found herself pregnant not once, but twice, over that year. Both times, because of her circumstances and the unwillingness of the guys to be supportive of parenting, she chose abortion.

Little by little, over the course of the following years, she found herself trying to cope with her life that was feeling more and more empty and lifeless.


With 1 in 4 women by the age of 45 having one or more abortions with the majority in their 20’s, Chelsea’s story is all too common.  For those who struggle afterwards, the shock can bring them to react in denial and numbness. In Jane Abbate’s book, Where Do Broken Hearts Go? Healing and Hope After Abortion (2010), the author describes this emotional state, “We live behind walls of denial, numb to our emotions, protecting ourselves from the aftermath of our decision. Living in this empty shell of existence allows us to simply cope but not truly live.”

In this emotionally-damaged state, a once vibrant life becomes lifeless and grey and the woman is forced to live her life going through the motions in an autopilot state of mind.


What can help break this cycle of numbness and denial?  Typically, the key is to confront the pain from our past so that the emotions can be processed causing the emotional pain to dissipate.  As Abbate says, “Only by confronting the past and dealing with it can we become whole again, no longer anesthetized to our feelings.”


If you are tired of feeling numb and simply coping from one or multiple abortions in your past, please contact Restore After Abortion today. We have compassionate, confidential, and nonjudgmental post abortion support services tailored to meet your needs. Call or text 630-599-0043 for more information or to schedule your free consultation.


Abbate, J. (2010). Where Do Broken Hearts Go? Healing and Hope After Abortion. Messy Miracles Books.