In his book, Men and Abortion: A Path to Healing, C.T. Coyle lists seven types of situations that men may find themselves in which lead to the decision to end a pregnancy:
- Both the man and his female partner agree to obtain an abortion. There may be a great deal of or very little discussion prior to the abortion decision.
- The man may pressure his partner to abort. He may do this directly or by threatening to leave the relationship if she does not choose abortion.
- Someone else (such as a friend of parent) may pressure his partner to choose abortion. In such a case, the man may or may not have expressed his opinion about the decision.
- The man may abandon the relationship in order to avoid the abortion decision entirely.
- The man may remain in the relationship but passively leave the abortion decision to his partner. His passivity may be due to his confusion about what to do or to his belief that it is her, and only her, decision to make.
- His partner may chose abortion against his wishes. She may make this decision in spite of his protest and his offers to support her and the child.
- The man may not know about the pregnancy or the abortion until sometime after the abortion occurs.
While often the focus of abortion is on the woman experiencing an abortion, we would do a disservice to men to not recognize that abortion can negatively impact their emotional, spiritual and relational health. Some men after an abortion experience with their partner may experience: Anger, Helplessness, Anxiety, Relationship Problems, and/or Grief and Guilt. How abortion effects men can be so under-studied and under-reported that many men may not even realize that their symptoms are directly related to the abortion. These men may pursue other methods of healing, but never experience full restoration of hope and spiritual, emotional, and relational health. Men can only work toward successful healing once they recognize the core of their symptoms is the abortion.
If you live in or around the Chicagoland area, Restore offers services for men led by men. If this is something you may be interested in call Restore today to schedule an intake at 630-599-0043 or Care@RestoreAfterAbortion.com. If you are not in our area, email or call us with your location and we can help you find care.