I Thought Abortion Would Save Our Relationship, but It Hasn’t

Perhaps you have an abortion in your past.  And, at the time of your decision, it felt like you were choosing this path for the good of your partner.  A woman’s reasons for ending a pregnancy are sometimes more complex than they seem.  You may have realized in hindsight that this choice was made for a person (like your partner or you) and for something intangible, like the dream of a lasting and healthy relationship.  Have you ever sought an abortion in an effort to save a relationship?  If so, this message may resonate with you.  Know that you’re definitely not alone.  Many women and men have walked a similar road, realized that abortion wasn’t the solution, and found healing.

As you were processing your pregnancy decision, you were likely facing some really challenging circumstances.  The choice to abort was probably supported by your foremost feelings and values at the time.  As with any significant crossroads in life, your perception was limited and you had no way of knowing for sure how the future would unfold.  But you saw this pregnancy as a possible barrier between you and your partner.  Why?  Maybe continuing this path would seemingly interfere with plans you’d made together.  Perhaps the relationship was already under strain, and you were afraid this pregnancy would be, “the straw that broke the camel’s back.”  Maybe the pregnancy wasn’t his.  Or, it simply wasn’t what your partner wanted.  He (or she) might have given you an ultimatum.  Each of these potential situations would have placed you in a very difficult position.

A past abortion can be hard to grapple with (even when it’s led to your desired outcome), but especially when you’re left disillusioned.  Did your own pregnancy choice guide you toward bitter disappointment, instead of the relational stability you were looking for?  If so, hindsight has probably revealed your chosen path in a very different light.  Maybe it feels like your efforts to minimize your losses have had the opposite effect.  This can easily leave a person feeling shocked, angry, exhausted, and regretful.  Your decision may have come with a cost that you didn’t fully recognize at the time, or perhaps it feels like you took a risk that didn’t pay off.  But it’s never too late to experience hope and lean into a brighter future.

Restore After Abortion is a community of women, men, and teens who’ve been through an abortion experience like yours, and are on a healing journey.  Our compassionate Restore leaders are available to process past and present emotional pain by your side.  We understand you’ve got a lot on your plate, since you’re coping with relationship challenges and possibly some post-abortion stress. We strive to create a safe, confidential, non-judgmental environment where you can discover that you’re truly not alone.

Reach out to Restore and begin your journey to finding peace today.