Dear Diary: Final Exams


Attending college can create its own form of stress in one’s life. There are always so many classes to attend, homework assignments to do, and exams to prepare for.  Overall, it requires a lot of time, effort, and focus to do it all well. But, what happens if there is even more stress in your life beyond college life?  In today’s article, the writer talks about the challenges she is having to function in college while having frequent thoughts about her abortion.

Dear Diary,

This semester has been a huge struggle for me. My grades are slipping and school is so much more overwhelming and complicated than it has ever been before. I cannot even count how many times I’ve wondered if a college education is even worth it. Each morning when my alarm goes off, it is extremely difficult to gather the strength to even get out of bed. This week, I have my final exams.  I thought it was hard to get out of bed before but getting up knowing that I have to go take exams is even more difficult.

I’ve been struggling for months to clear my head and focus on doing homework or studying for quizzes throughout the semester so knowing that a huge percentage of my grade is on the line with the finals that I have to take is even more stressful. Am I really going to be able to take a two hour exam without the thought of my abortion experience popping up at least once? As I’ve been studying for my finals, I’ve been trying so hard not to let those thoughts into my head but it’s like the more I try not to think about it, the more I end up thinking about it.

I asked my friend, Brittany, how she is able to study and focus on her schoolwork without having these thoughts. She told me how difficult it is for her to study, too, and that her grades have also been slipping. She actually is not able to get her degree in what she wanted to until she can get her grade point average up. She needs a 3.5 GPA in order to be in the program that she wants to be in and because of how difficult it is to study and do homework after having an abortion, she cannot be in the program until she has a 3.5 GPA again.

I just cannot wait until I am finished with my final exams and I have about a month during winter break to take time to myself, relax, and try to heal. I hope that I can be more prepared for next semester so that the same thing that happened to Brittany does not happen to me. That would just add even more sadness and frustration to the mix of all of the feelings that I already have been experiencing. But, I should probably get back to studying and trying to avoid thinking… I almost made it through the semester!

If you have experienced one or multiple abortions and are finding it hard to concentrate at school or work because of being plagued by re-occurring thoughts, please contact the Restore Program at 630-599-0043. We offer individualized post abortion support services at no cost that are tailored to meet your needs.