Dear Diary Series: Am I Ready to Date?

Starting a new relationship with someone can be both exciting and scary. You may feel excited that he seems to be the perfect match for you, due to your similar interests. Also, though, you may be feeling fearful to disclose certain aspects of your past, especially ones that may cause someone to want to abandon the relationship.

In today’s journal entry, the writer considers the idea of dating again and mentions the difficulty in knowing how or when she will disclose her past abortion to him.

Dear Diary, 
I have been feeling pretty good the last few days. I told my parents about my abortion and it went better than expected. My dad ended up talking to me the very next day and saying that he was sorry about the way that he responded. He said that as a father all he wants to do is protect me and knowing that he was not able to through that whole experience, made him angry. Because I have been feeling good the last few days, I have considered dating again.
I have been single for months now and I have had no desire to be with anyone. However, with Valentine’s Day passing and seeing all my friends posting cute pictures on their social media, I started thinking: Am I ready to be dating again? It is really scary to think about considering how my last relationship ended and the situation that I wound up in.
There is a guy in one of my classes at school and he is really nice. His name is Mike. He has asked me out before and I told him about how I just got out of a relationship and I’m not ready to be with anyone else yet. He texted me earlier today and he asked if I wanted to get dinner later. I said yes! I’m going on a date tonight. I am really nervous though. What if something happens that is a “trigger” for me? I really want this to go well and I don’t want to scare him by sharing about my abortion. But, at the same time, I don’t want to hide it from him. How am I supposed to know the “right time” to tell Mike about everything? Is there ever a “right time”?
Obviously, talking about my recent abortion is not a first date conversation. It is just so scary. I almost want him to know sooner than later so that at least he knows how fragile of a state I am in. It is really tough to know how and when to tell a new romantic interest/ partner.
I have been through so much heartbreak in the last few months and it terrifies me to think about another possible heartbreak. I have always been insecure and I have always had trust issues in relationships, but now it’s at an all-time high. I have a hard time trusting anyone. I guess I’ll just take this one day at a time and see how dating again is going. I’ve got to go! Mike is here picking me up for our date!


If you are feeling emotionally fragile after having had an abortion and are not sure how or when might be the right time to tell your significant other, please call or text the Restore After Abortion program at 630-599-0043. Our knowledgeable and compassionate staff and volunteers can assist you in talking about your relationship concerns related to a past abortion in a nonjudgmental and confidential setting.