Let’s face it, life can seem pretty hectic. You may be trying to juggle school, work, activities, and a social life while still trying to stay sane. You may even be feeling you have been doing pretty well staying on top of things. But then, all of a sudden, one major event in your life can begin to make life seem to unravel and fall apart. What then? Who can help?
In today’s journal entry, the author describes the daily struggle as she deals with focusing on her life when all she can think about is the abortion.
Dear Diary,
It has been almost a month since my abortion. I’ve been struggling so much with day-to-day things. Normally, I was able to handle a full schedule including going to college, work, my social life, and everything in between. However, ever since I terminated my pregnancy, things that used to be really important to me do not seem nearly as important. It is so hard to be motivated and go on with my life. As hard as I try to act like I am okay, I’m just not. I fake a smile to try to make it less obvious how badly I am hurting inside.
I have been forcing myself out of bed each morning to go to class. I used to be so excited about going to school and even more excited to finish school and start the career I have been working toward for so long. It’s not the same though. I don’t care about school like I did before. In class, my mind wonders. I think about how much my life has changed in the past month. I think about how I am not the same as I used to be. I think about how school seems so insignificant compared to what I have been going through.
My grades are starting to slip and I am scared. I try as hard as I possibly can to take good notes during class. I try to do my homework and be prepared for the next class. I try to study when I have an exam. I try to focus when I am taking the exams. I try so hard but I am not succeeding. How am I supposed to do well in school when I am not doing well emotionally? How would I explain to my professors that the reason I am not doing well in their class anymore is because I had an abortion? They would not understand. I just need to figure out a way to concentrate. It is just so difficult when almost everything is a reminder. I can only hope that things start to get easier and that I can do well in school.
If you have felt an emotional change in your life that may be caused by one or multiple abortions, contact Restore After Abortion. We provide compassionate and nonjudgmental post abortion support in individual and small group formats at no cost to the participant. We are here because we care. Call or text us today at 630-599-0043.