Have you made a choice that, later, you either regretted or weren’t sure whether it was the right choice?
In today’s diary entry, the writer shares her struggles with deciding whether she made the right choice to have an abortion and how her two friends reacted to the news.
It has been just over a week since I had an abortion. I have been trying to brush it off and act as if nothing ever happened. Though I am trying really hard, it is not working like I wish it would. I thought that by confiding in a couple of friends that that would be helpful. I decided to tell my two closest friends. Everyone always says that if you are going through something or if you have something bothering you that it helps to “talk it out”.
I told my friend Jill first. She immediately hugged me and asked me if I was okay. She promised to be there for me through everything and she agreed that it is such a difficult decision to make. I told her that I am back and forth about making the right decision. Logically, it makes sense and I can admit that I made the right choice. But thinking about it in less logical terms, it does not feel right in my heart. As I cried to her, she squeezed my hand and told me that she cannot imagine what I must be feeling and that she is so sorry. As we left the coffee house we were at, she assured me that she is always a phone call away and she will always be there to listen and offer anything she could to help me.
Next, I told my friend Claire. I was not as nervous to tell Claire as I was to tell Jill because of the positive outcome of that conversation. So, I told Claire. I expressed how difficult of a decision it was and how I am not sure if I made the right choice. Claire’s reaction was almost the opposite of Jill’s. She started questioning what made me think that abortion was the right thing to do in the first place and she seemed to come across quite judgmental. Her reaction made me regret bringing it up in the first place. She continued to ask me questions but, at this point, I no longer wanted to talk to her about it anymore. I told her that I needed to get going.
I went to my car and all of the tears that I had been holding back began running down my cheeks. As I sat there, all I could think of was how different my two friends’ reactions were. I thought that this would be beneficial but I only ended up in the same place that I started in. Is there a way to know if I made the right choice or not? Why am I feeling like this?
Restore After Abortion specializes in helping teens and adults process through the confusing emotions caused by an abortion experience. All of our services are strictly confidential and at no cost to the participant. Call or text us today at 630-599-0043 to find out more about our abortion recovery support services.