Have you ever written a letter to someone meaningful to you? Was it difficult to write the letter and convey your thoughts?  A letter can be a special way to let others know how much you love and care about them. In today’s journal entry, the writer conveys her love for the baby she never got to hold.

Dear Diary, 

This entry is dedicated to My Baby,

It has been exactly one month since the day that I lost you. Words cannot describe the amount of pain and the mixture of emotions that I have been feeling. When I found out that I was pregnant, I was so scared. I am so young. When I told your Dad about you, he left us. There is no way that I would have been able to be a single mother at such a young age.

This decision was the hardest that I’ve ever had to make. I wanted you to have the best life possible and I would not have been able to give you that at this time. I never wanted you to feel any pain in your life… I think our life would have been painful at times. I am so sorry. I still feel like I let you down.

One month ago was without a doubt, the worst day of my life. The memories of that day haunt me and because of that day, I am a different person. I am sad all of the time, I don’t laugh a lot, and my heart is so broken that it hurts physically. I think about you constantly. I wonder what you think about me. Please try to forgive me. I just would not have been able to raise you like I would want to.

Although I never got to meet you, I love you so so much. I would do anything to hold you and to hug and kiss you. I wish that I could hear your sweet laughter. You would know that you are adored. I hope that somehow you know how much I love you. I only made this choice because I thought it was what was the best option for everyone. It was not the best option but I guess it made the most sense.

I can promise you that you will never be forgotten. I will think of you everyday for the rest of my life. You are so loved. Until I can hold you in my arms, I will always hold you in my heart.

Love, Mama

It can feel lonely and painful to struggle with the aftermath caused by an abortion experience.  If you feel you need support during this difficult time, Restore After Abortion can help. Please call or text 630-599-0043 today to talk to our compassionate staff and find out more about our post abortion recovery program. There is hope. There is healing.