Deciding to tell your significant other about a past abortion(s) can be very difficult. Once you’ve chosen to have that conversation, making it happen can be just as challenging. Here are 6 steps:

1. Pick A Time: Inform your partner ahead of time that you want to discuss something important. Find a time when you can both be relaxed and not in a rush.

2. Choose Your Ground: Select an environment that is comfortable and the right mix of open and private. You may feel comfortable in a home, or a semi-private setting like a quiet coffee shop or park.

3. Set Expectations: Explain why you are sharing, how you are feeling about it, and what you are hoping for from him. For example, “I want to share a story with you because I trust you but I’m nervous about how you’ll react. It would help me if you would let me tell the whole story and ask questions once I’m done.”

4. Tell Your Story: If talking off-the-cuff is difficult for you, you may want to note down the important points you want to cover. You could write a letter and read it out loud or be present while he reads it. Any method that feels comfortable and true to your self will work!

5. Encourage: Let him know that you want to be open about your past abortion(s) because you trust him, and felt he deserved to know before the relationship progresses further. Assure him you want to be trusted that you are not withholding any secrets from him.

6. Listen: Allow your partner to respond to what you’ve shared. It’s important for both of you to be open about your feelings in order to maintain trust and move forward.

Whether you need help beginning the conversation or resolving emotions that come after, our Restore After Abortion team can help! Our compassionate, expert staff can accommodate couples and individuals who want to discuss any feelings and move forward through this journey together.