Does it feel like your parents are disappointed with your decision to have an abortion? Maybe you’re a young person who’s trying to get back on track with school or other responsibilities while navigating life after an abortion. Or, maybe you’re going through this as an adult. (After all, parents have feelings about their kids’ choices no matter how old they are.) You may be facing some unique challenges if you’re living with your parents and coping with tough reactions to your decision.
A parent’s disappointment can hurt deeply, regardless of your age or circumstances. This dynamic can be extremely difficult to cope with in and of itself. So, if you’re having complex feelings of your own about your abortion decision, you’re probably feeling especially disheartened. Perhaps it seems like most of the people you’re closest to (including you) are questioning this choice, and there’s nothing you can do about it. That isn’t true though. It’s possible to pursue healing in your relationships with your parents, and healing in your own heart and mind if this is something that you need.
As you continue to navigate this journey with your parents and other important people in your life, consider these communication tips. They may help you repair your relationship bonds.
- Connect with your parents at a good time, in a safe and calm setting. Generally, it’s healthy to have authentic conversations when difficult feelings like disappointment are looming beneath the surface. Just be sure to choose a time that works well for everyone, when nobody is feeling rushed. Pick a calm and comfortable place with minimal distractions.
- Invite your parents to share their genuine feelings with kindness and respect. This may help your parents process their emotions and could eventually lead to a healthy resolution. Listen to them and accept what they have to say, even if it’s hard to hear. Empathize with their emotions, even if their opinions are different than yours. At the same time, set boundaries. Your parents need to know that you deserve kindness and respect. It’s okay to be respectfully assertive and remind them of this if need be.
- Ask your parents to listen to your perspective with kindness and respect. Tell your parents where you’re coming from. What feelings and thought processes led to your abortion decision, and where are you at now? Find a healthy balance between accepting responsibility and sharing how their words and actions have impacted you. Avoid language that’s overgeneralized or blaming. Ask them to reciprocate the respect you’ve shown them and listen well.
If you’re struggling to cope after an abortion experience, consider reaching out to Restore! Our program is designed for individuals who are facing circumstances like yours. We’re here for you if you’re wrestling with complicated or difficult feelings about your decision. We also recognize that challenging family dynamics sometimes overlap with post-abortion stress, and we’re available to process this with you as well. When you connect with Restore, you’ll have an opportunity to seek lasting emotional healing by engaging in a workbook study with a highly trained leader or in a support group setting.
Connect with Restore today! We’re here to help inspire hope for your future, regardless of when your abortion took place and how it’s affected your relationships.